Saturday, February 8, 2014

comfortable love

When you're raised by a close knit family, when you a live a lifestyle that most would call "hippie" there's something that happens. The bedroom becomes a living room and the bed becomes the couch. I have always loved closeness. There have been times in my life when "dog piles" of my best friends were the only way to stay warm for the winter. When Aj and I first met, we shared a 480 square feet cabin with about seven other people. Not much room for spreading out, we all slept in one room. You get used to having the ones you love within arms reach. I'm sure we worked with people who couldn't imagine that no funny business was going on up there.

When I lived at home, my parents had something that they called "the white trash pallet". It was a double sized mattress that they would drag into the living room and lay in front of the fire place. My mom and dad often slept there, but in the morning it became the place we all piled up to enjoy the fire and watch a little tv. I should tell you we lived in a 4 bedroom house and yes everyone had their own bed and yes we had central heat and air, but this was just something we did. We enjoyed each others company and didn't always want doors between us.

I knew I had found the right man to marry when I first took Aj to my parent's house. In the living room, other than the pallet, there is a long "L" shaped couch. My mom and dad fell asleep on one end and Aj and I on the other. What a wonderful thing to wake up to, three of the most important people in my life all dreaming at the same time. When mom passed away, for about two weeks we hardly left that living room, all piled up together on that couch or the mattress, as if we just couldn't get close enough.

Now with all the work that has been going on at my house, I can't be upset that it isn't finished yet. It has brought back some of that closeness that I was missing. However, I am finding out that there are some people who just aren't comfortable hanging out on your bed. This is the first time that I've had people like that in my life.

Our society has done something terrible to our hearts and heads. Humanity has become so driven on sexuality and indecency that we can't imagine closeness like this. There are even Christians who can be made totally uncomfortable by something as innocent as a hug. Try it. We can't fathom non-sexual interpersonal relationships. Fathers can't kiss, hold or love on their baby girls for fear it will be misconstrued. Friends can't hug, hold hands or love on each other for fear it will be taken out of context. When did me placing a caring warm hand on someone's back to show them that they aren't alone become something to be whispered about by onlookers? Friendships like this are supposed to inspire beauty and love in a way that directs our minds, hearts and souls attention to spiritual things. We've let our minds become corrupted by crude jesting.

The Greek had four words for love: eros, agape, philia and storge. Only one of these words had to do with sexual desire or physical attraction. Agape is unconditional love, love like Christ has for us. Philia is brotherly love or affectionate love for friends. Storge refers to the love between parents, offspring, family. So why do our brains always think on vulgar eros?

Well, I am taking back platonic love. I will not avoid telling me friends I love them, because I do. I celebrate them. I want them to be happy and healthy. I want them to know what love is. I want to love like Christ loves. Gracious love. Not side-arm hugs and "you are in my thoughts" type sentiments, but bear hugs and holding hands in times of weakness. I want to pile up with like-minded thinkers and share ideas. I want to hang out on the pallet and enjoy fellowship. I want the couch to not have a limited number of seats.

So come over. Let's sit on the bed and talk. Let's sit on the bed and watch movies and eat popcorn. Our bedroom has become our living room. It is a place of comfort. It is a place of relaxation. Come be a hippie!


"Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love." 1 John 4:8

"Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13





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