truth and love

last night i started writing out what i would say. i felt like i was writing a speech. i felt like i was trying to fit a big story of my life onto a single piece of steno paper. it wasn't happening. i got through the, "good evening and thank you for joining me" yadda yadda "supporting the arts" yadda yadda. it all seemed so cold and heartless. so i decided to just write an outline, something to keep me on topic. something to keep me going with an order of events. but life doesn't always happen in any particular order and stories need flashbacks and foreshadowing to be told. my friend jeff asked how much of the story i would tell. my answer was, "all of it". he asked if any of my family would be there. of course not. mainly because of distance, but mostly because they still don't want to acknowledge the "all of it" part. how do you tell a story that others in the story won't tell? how do you share truth when others in the story don't see it as that or aren't ready to accept it as such? how do you expose skeletons when the closet has such guarded locks? tonight i will chance losing touch with family that i love dearly. tonight i will chance ousting myself. tonight i will chance hurting someone to possible save others. tonight i will choose truth. tonight i will choose love.